As spring begins to best winter in this westerly hemisphere I entreat you to share a moment of collaboration with the nearest tyke and commemorate the famous maritime fig merchants, to which we all owe a debt of gratitude, with this home-crafted diorama made in tribute to their sea-salt encrusted bravery. The dimensions within the template have been prefigured to match each-other for your convenience.
All you will need is a willing heart and the following:
-a printing mechanism
-scissors of any sort
-a surgeon’s steady hand
-fortifying adhesive paste
Seize the day, friends and pause to reflect on the transit of your favorite snacks across the undulating waves from the docks of distant shores to your welcoming lips.
(note: point x3 adheres to the rear of the fearsome shark)
I make a point to catalog and distribute this panoply of laudable and loathsome cranium coverings to my local millinery and haberdasher. Not all hats are as good as the humans who might give them a lofty perch; some elevate their custodians to heretofore unexpected positions of olympian splendor. Make use of this, dear reader, for your own sake!
Have you found your self recklessly deriding a fellow human or appealing to the dark arts, in the heat of a blood-boilingly vigorous exchange only to wish you had been more calculating and cogent, thus retaining the upper hand of noble civility? protect your reputation and corporeal integrity with this simple sequential exercise. Safety first in words and deeds.